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Roman Emperors: They're Bad
Roman Emperors: They're Bad is a song from the ''Horrible Histories'' TV series, having first aired in Series 3, Episode 7 on June 14, 2011. A parody of Michael Jackson's "Bad", it stars four of the most notorious emperors of the Roman Empire, boasting over who's the worst. Lyrics Caligula: The famous Roman Empire... Elagabalus: Was the biggest, meanest neighborhood. Commodus: We four were the baddest emperors... Nero: And by Bad, we don’t mean Good! All: (Whoo-hoo!) Caligula: My name is Caligula A rotten, Roman pig-ula If you told me a fib-ula I’d hack your hands to stumps! One time, I killed a priest Who’d come to sacrifice a beast You’d think it’s sad that he’s deceased We all laughed like chumps! I’m very hairy, but take note If you so much as whisper “Goat!” With an iron rod, you will be smote In a good mood today, so I won’t slit your throat! I’m bad! Elagabalus, Commodus, & Nero: He’s bad! Caligula: A shameless rotten cad! Do you still have limbs since meeting me? Then I guess you should be glad! (Whoo-hoo!) Elagabalus: Your nastiness was fabulous But my name’s Elagabalus And I was far, far worse Just listen to my verse I was quite notorious For catapulting venomous Snakes at Rome’s enormous Crowds, oh, how they fled (Chuckles) If you won a lottery prize I’d give you bees, dead dogs, flies My house guests got a nice surprise-- A lion in their bed! You’d think to children, I’d be cuter No, I was their biggest executor Used their guts to read the future Says here I should get a job as a school tutor! I’m bad! Caligula, Commodus, & Nero: He’s bad! Elagabalus: Could argue I was sad! Hated through our empire From Great Britain to Baghdad! (Whoo-hoo!) Commodus: Afraid your claim is bogus ‘Cause my name is Commodus And no one else could be A worse emperor than me There never was a greater Pretend gladiator If the booing got too loud Made the lions fight the crowd Just one man was grander Julius Alexander So I killed him, see ‘Cause I’m the emperor, me I’m bad! Caligula, Elagabalus, & Nero: He’s bad! Commodus: My actions truly rad! Nero: You only got the emperor job ‘Cause you were chosen by your dad! To me, you all score zero My name is Emperor Nero Evil men you’re not I’m the worstest of the lot! (Whoo!) My rule was full of fear-o Yes, men from far & near-o Called me a fighting hero Or I would have them slayed! Changed the Olympic season So the medals went to me, son Burned Christians for no reason Just a fun game I played, you know Poisoned my stepbrother Ordered men to kill my mother Tried to drown her but she fled So I had her stabbed instead Wait! There’s more! With my first wife, dear Octavia I showed truly bad behavior Chopped her head off, gave it to My girlfriend who I then killed too I’m bad! So baddy! Of badness, I’m the daddy! Come on, I want to see A more evil bloke than me! Caligula, Elagabalus, & Commodus: You’re bad! Real bad! Nothing more to add! We all thought that we were awful But you were really, truly mad! (Whoo-hoo!) Nero: I’m the baddest emperor that the Romans ever had Cast *Simon Farnaby as Caligula *Mathew Baynton as Elagabalus *Ben Willbond as Commodus *Jim Howick as Nero Notes External Links *Roman Emperors: They're Bad at Horrible Histories TV Category:Horrible Histories Category:Horrible Histories 2009-2011 TV Series Category:Series 3 of Horrible Histories 2009-2011 TV Series Category:Savage Songs Category:Rotten Romans (Sketches) Category:Songs